I too, have been suffering for quite some time. The turning point.

After dedicating myself to many powerful tools, practices and techniques I can now say that I’m living a Liberated Life. But this hasn’t always been the case. I’ve been stuck, felt lost and have met the darkest depths in my suffering, whether it was mentally or physically. Or actually, they always went hand in hand.

I was standing next to my red couch in my student-room, looking at my hands. They were bent, curved. I couldn’t write anymore.  And I felt held back by life.

The truth was, I was actually really sick. I had gone through my life really not faced the challenges/the trauma/the parts of me that I needed to look at. I could cry, but I never learned to heal it. And this started to essentially create sickness in my body. I had seen many different physicians and I couldn’t solve it. 

‍I don’t know about you, maybe in your life, you have got some challenges, and you keep having them as you are also not deeply completely facing them. Are you?

— I was feeling lost 
‍— I was feeling fearful
— I was feeling empty and alone
— I was thinking life is difficult, hard work ‍

If you saw me back then, I was a fun girl on the outside. But on the inside I was neglecting myself. I was just doing my life. I was not connected with myself at all.  Did you ever felt you were neglecting yourself? Just doing what is expected, not really feeling connected: I wasn’t feeling alive, wasn’t dancing on the bike. I didn’t not feel a deep sense of wholeness when I was around people, rather a shakiness.‍‍

‍Deep down, subconsciously, I was scared off facing the real me. I had learned that it caused trouble if I was truly myself sharing my gifts. Do you live with your gifts? I know I was, deep down, scared of my greatness. ‍

It got to a point that my illnesses were so crippling in my life: 
— I didn't got my cycle (21y old)
— I had physical deformation of my hands
— I experienced a cycle of drama and injuries

I made a decision: I needed to do the thing that I knew was right but felt the most scary. This was the chancing point.

And it wasn’t even at looking at the external world, it was looking at the internal world. I went and saw a physician. I thought at the time, that I was going to an acupuncturist. So, I still at the time, was exploring healing more physically.
I remember feeling so much resistance when I went to press the doorbell. I felt I was about  to do something significant in my life… it gave me a feeling of deep fear and excitement at the same time. I could sense that on the other side, something was going to break through. 

I walked 3 stairs up. She welcomed me with her warm smile and hug and invited me to sit in a comfy chair. We went to my childhood. She asked me how i felt in the womb. Haha, I didn’t know. You? We called my mom, asked her how she felt in her pregnancy. No information. But through asking more questions we come to a moment. But only when I was laying on her massage table and she asked me the right question, I started to face the pain that I had to face. I started to touch the root cause of all the drama, my illness and the physical injuries.‍

‍What was fascinating was, that through starting to do that, my body started to heal.
It started to explore parts of me that I had suppressed, locked up and never connected with anymore. And over the next weeks, my body completely healed. Even though my body healed, and I was crying a lot I didn't know how to transform my feelings. I landed in a depression. This started my journey to dive even deeper.
‍
I found out: I had moved away from who I was, from what I liked and totally out of connection with my true self, my deeper self. Neglected my gifts, talents like being able to see beyond the physical, healing and deep knowing. My true alignment with who I am. ‍‍

‍I got obsessed with freeing myself even more. Coming back even more to my natural self.
I started to feel :
— genuinely happy, 
— connected 
— in flow 

I started studying not only the yogic texts but also emotional intelligence, quantum physics, and neuroscience. I am grateful to have met teachers, masters and practitioners showing me the way, giving me tools, movements, and practices that unlocked deep wholeness in my life. The joy I was looking for — that the world outside was not giving me. 

I found that there were certain kind of practices, and the combination of different practices, reflection questions and wisdom that started to heal me physically, emotionally, energetically and creating different outside experiences constantly. 

From this transformation I learned how energy worked; how I could transform patterns and physical issues in my life.

‍One moment a friend asked me to help her. She said: You have done so much inner work, can you not help me?

I remember it as if it was yesterday. She was lying on the couch. I let life express itself through me, and at one point she felt joy - which she didn’t feel for a long long time.

After this experience, her brother was surprised and wanted to experience it for himself. Then his girlfriend came to see me too. They wanted to pay as it was so valuable. People started sharing and referring the work. One moment a woman came, she was deaf in one ear. The doctors said she had to take prednisone but she didn’t want to. She came to me, and during the session her ear popped open when we found the cause.

I learned a lot in this phase.

I started noticing that life sometimes was putting me in situations where I needed to help. I was, for example, in South Africa with a friend. We visited friends of hers, and their newborn baby was giving back all her food. They wanted to go to the hospital the moment we came in. I felt I had to ask her if she was open for help. At that time I had seen already so many miracles with myself and others, that I felt the need to give it a try. During the session we found the cause, life healed it and the baby stopped giving back food. ‍

But it was not until my daughter was in my womb and "told" me: “Mama you need to go for your healing practice” that I went for it.

“When I told my dad he said: “Of course you need to go for that!! When you were little you were walking up to strangers quite often, telling them confronting things they had, or had to work on.”

Those few people turned into 100 of people and I now have the blessing to work with thousands of people around the world to guide them heal not just their outside world, but their inner world. 

I’ve been guiding private sessions since 2018. And I’ve always said the same thing: I will keep doing this until life asks something different of me. For years, that was my work. To sit with one woman at a time. To help her remember who she is. Then Evolve & Expand came and now, life is asking something different. It is calling me to build Queendom. Not simply as a business or a community, but as a way back. Through women, we return to our true nature. To the way of living we have forgotten. Not because we chose to forget — but because no one ever handed us the manual. We were taught how to perform. How to survive. How to fit into the world. Very few of us were ever taught how life actually works.

Queendom is devoted to remembering. We don't become free, we remember that freedom is our nature. We don't learn how to flourish, we remove everything that made us forget that we already do.

Love,
Dolores Mae