Anger is often labeled as a negative emotion. In my own path and years guiding many women and men to a more empowered and liberated life, I found the opposite: anger plays a crucial role in both our physical and emotional well-being. The light can not exist without the dark.
In 2022, I flew all the way to Costa Rica to join a breakthrough workshop called “Growing into Love”. In this workshop - with this name - I surprisingly came to the realization that I had suppressed my healthy anger all my life. I knew what anger was. At least I thought so. I could be angry, but not from a rooted place, not from my depth, not from my core - only when I got triggered. And that didn’t really happen a lot. I became harshly aware that I barely ever really expressed it. In this workshop, when I was invited to be angry at someone or a situation, I literally could not find anything to be angry about until something clicked. Until I was guided to finally face my power.
In that moment in Costa Rica, I saw the programming I received around anger and for what reasons I literally could not be angry at situations and people that had hurt me so much. As a result it kept happening and I was not in my power.
It’s normal these days to have your anger repressed, and yet it’s time to change that – we need anger.
Anger has the potential to restore your inner balance and life force 🔥.
Do you repress anger, or do you struggle to control it? Those are both signs of suppressed inner power. The key is to learn how to recognize, accept, and express anger in a healthy way. When you learn to allow and express anger in a constructive way you can feel your life force as never before. Life force is wisdom, creativity and inner strength, so that’s what it can bring you. Anger is a powerful emotion that - if you release it constructively - can help you reclaim our energy and take powerful actions. So, healthy anger isn’t something to fear or avoid.
The inability or unwillingness to feel anger can have several consequences:
1. Lack of Energy and Vitality
According to emotion coaching – , anger is a powerful emotion that helps you reclaim your power. When allowing anger in a healthy way you can take back energy that you have been giving away - consciously or subconsciously. Without anger, you can feel empty or drained. Anger motivates action and gives you the ability to energetically protect yourself. When this emotion is absent, your life energy can stagnate.
2. Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Anger acts as a signal that someone is crossing your boundaries. Without it, you might find it challenging to say “no” or clearly communicate your needs and desires, which can lead to exhaustion and frustration.
3. Emotional Suppression
Anger is part of a broader emotional spectrum. Suppressing anger often means other emotions are also repressed, which can disrupt your emotional balance and leave you feeling disconnected.
4. Less Action Against Injustice
Anger motivates you to stand up against injustice, both in your personal life and on a larger societal scale. When anger is absent, you may be more likely to remain passive in situations where you would otherwise act. You can more likely stay in situations that are clearly unhealthy for you.
5. Physical and Emotional Complaints
Suppressed anger can manifest physically. In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), anger is linked to the liver, which is responsible for the flow of Qi (life energy). Suppressing anger can lead to stagnation, resulting in symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and digestive issues.
To have peace, we need anger.
At this point, you might be feeling you want to allow more anger. If you’re anything like how I was, you might be judging and blaming yourself at this point. Please don’t. When we are not able to feel anger or when we actively avoid anger or only express it when we project it out it can come from many different reasons. We have listed 5 reasons why people repress anger so you get to know, it’s so human of you! And you can change that!
1. Upbringing and Culture
If you have grown up in an environment where anger is frowned upon or punished, you learn that expressing anger is “wrong” and copy that suppressing is ‘the way we do it’. In certain cultures and households harmony is made more important because nobody has learned to deal with deep feelings. In those cases anger is a taboo emotion.
2. Fear of Conflict
Most of us are programmed to avoid anger because we have not learned to express it in a healthy way. Which results in fearing the consequences, such as arguments, confrontations, or damaged relationships. The question is: Do I want to be happy or be in the idea that you keep others happy?
3. Philosophical or Spiritual Beliefs
Philosophies like Stoicism or practices such as mindfulness and Buddhism often encourage letting go of anger, as it can lead to suffering. While these approaches can bring inner peace, suppressing anger without addressing it healthily can create internal tension.
4. Negative Associations with Anger
Some people have experienced destructive forms of anger, such as aggression, during childhood or in relationships. As a result, they view anger as dangerous or harmful, rather than as a healthy emotion.
5. Difficulty Recognizing Emotions
An inability to feel anger may also point to emotional blocks. Chronic stress, trauma, or conditions like alexithymia (difficulty identifying and expressing emotions) can make anger less accessible.
Do you recognize this? Here’s what can help you:
1. Healthy Expression:
Work with a professional you trust to guide you into a healthy full body anger release that’s rooted and soft at the same time. By doing so, you can use anger to regain your strength, activate your life force again and set clear boundaries.
2. Bodywork
Practices like yoga, breath-work, or Qigong can help release stuck energy and restore balance.
3. Self-Reflection
Ask yourself “What am I actually madly angry about because it’s____ [unfair, stupid, dum, not okay, painful].” “If my anger had a voice it would say_______.” Start to open up to the idea that anger is not an enemy, but rather an ally in your personal growth. By embracing anger, you can discover more energy, creativity, aliveness and balance in your life ánd relationships.
I am looking forward to more people tapping into their true power on a daily basis and feeling alive.
Much love,
Dolores-Mae